twitter fail blog

We’ve been honored with an award. We’re just as stunned as you are.

We’ve been sitting here in our own little world, churning out snarky, silly, and dare we say, stupid posts with no redeeming value, when along comes a surprise via twitter that has us nearly speechless. Of course, since we can blather on endlessly about nearly anything, and this is really special, we’re determined to give this our best shot.

Like virtually every blogger on the planet, we regularly check our stats, and are amazed not only that people are visiting our blog, but that some of them actually come back. A few of those even claim to enjoy it. One person who allegedly gets a laugh from our attempts to share helpful hints with a bit of humor is our dear friend @stinginthetail.

We have received rude comments, angry e-mails, and threats of both litigation, and physical violence. That’s why this Kreativ Blogger Award is so special. Just like Sally Fields, we’re totally amazed that someone likes us, really likes us.

This award comes with rules, and by now you probably know how we feel about rules, but for the sake of playing fair, we’re going to list them so you will see we can be nice when we want to.

Here they are:

1. Copy and paste the picture above, onto your own blog.
2. Thank the person who gave you the award and post a link to their blog.
3. Write 7 things about yourself we do not know.
4. Choose 7 other bloggers to award.
5. Link to those 7 other bloggers.
6. Notify your 7 bloggers.

The Fail Bird is going to step back so The Fail Bird Handler (FBH) can make sure we stay on track.

Thank you so much, @stinginthetail, Sheila Bastard, Queen of Darkness. When we met on twitter, I had to check out her blog, which I love. I like the way she writes so openly about the things that are going on in her life, and shares wacky insights and outrageous opinions that make me laugh so loud it wakes up the cat. I feel as if we were cut from the same cloth, and someone spirited her away before we had chance to get to know each other. I’m so glad twitter was invented, so that I could find her. Read her blog, and you’ll feel like you’ve found your new best friend. Sting ithe Tail.

#3 is kind of hard, because believe it or not, I’m a very private person. Here we go:

1. I can’t play a musical instrument. I’ve taken lessons, and they just didn’t stick. This is painful to me because I love music with a passion, and listen to it all the time.
2. I know how to speak in sign language (ASL), and taught my daughter the alphabet when she was very young. This was very helpful when she was in ICU, on a respirator, and couldn’t speak, because were able to communicate. It gave me a small sense of control during a very difficult time.
3. I collect body parts. Not real ones, duh. Mannequin parts that I use to decorate various areas of my home. It’s tasteful. Really.
4. In 2006, I nearly died. My husband saved my life. There’s no way to repay that kind of love.
5. I am a vegetarian. I don’t care what other people eat, and am not a member of PETA. I just love animals too much to eat them.
6. I lived in a haunted house when I was a child. Years later, my older sister paid a visit to the current residents. They say it is still haunted.
7. I love to garden. Getting my hands dirty while helping things grow makes me feel centered.

On to #4. There are so many bloggers whose work I enjoy. How can I pick only 7?

1. @jackasletters
   http://jackassletters.com
   Christopher Jorgensen is the recipient of my Kreativ Blogger award.  He became a treasured friend because of twitter, after I discovered we both had the same offbeat sense of humor.  He is a genuinely nice guy, and very supportive of me, and my blog. I really appreciate his friendship. His letters make me laugh on a regular basis.
2. @tremendousnews
   http://tremendousnews
   His self-depracating style and affection for lists makes you either love his blog, or pity him. He’ll take either.
3. @mindofchester
   http://thezimp.mindofchester.com
   Multi-talented: good writing, drawing, animation, and puppets…whats not to like?
4. @absolutelytrue
   http://absolutelytrue.com
   When my world starts to seem a little too normal, I go here to catch up on Weird & Bizarre News
5. @agent x
   http://www.agent-x.com.au
   Comics, Illustrations & Tweeterviews with other comic writers. Funny guy.
6. @cheflilly
   http://bellacuisine.blogspot.com/
   The only person on my list who I’ve actually met in person, Lilly is an awesome chef. Every dish she creates is magical. Yum!
7. @thebloggess
   http://thebloggess.com
   @stinginthetail introduced me to Jenny (although she probably didn’t notice) and I absolutely delight in her totally bizarro, yet somehow normal, world. I like that she swears even more than I do. She really doesn’t need the recognition of this award because, as the anti-Oprah of the blog world, she’s already got tons of fans.

Now that you have my list, I hope you’ll add some of these to yours.

Thanks again to @stinginthetail, Sheila Bastard, Queen of Darkness for this honor. It means a lot.

Now that were finished, the Fail Bird would like me to remind you that we’ll be back to our normal snarky selves next time, and apologize for all this uncharacteristic niceness. It won’t happen again.