I would pay the extra nickel. Or not fly Spirit. Or both.

Spirit Airlines, (aka: We’re the cheapest airline. That is all.) proudly announced yesterday that they can’t be bothered to have a real person provide customer service on social media by posting this to their twitter profile: “A big social media team costs money, so we put our feed on Autopilot to save you cents on every ticket.” We thought we’d give it a day to settle in before commenting, because we wanted to see what would happen, as if we didn’t know. It’s exactly what we, and everyone in customer service, expected.

Remember United Breaks Guitars? When United Airlines ignored this customer, he went public, got satisfaction, and the airline got a black eye.

Of course, if a robot was handling issues like that, it would have been much better for them, right? Let’s see how well it’s working for Spirit:

Spirit Airlines Spirit Autopilot Twitter Spirit Airlines Twitter
Spirit Airlines

“Talk to the Hand” automated responses do nothing to smooth ruffled feathers or solve customer complaints. It just adds to what is already a high level of frustration. When people have a problem that isn’t being solved, they tend to reach out on social media. The responses they receive on these public forums help cement, or destroy their reputation.

We’re betting each of these frustrated passengers would have been happy to pay a few extra cents for their ticket in order to cover the cost of one real person to reply to their post.

Welcome to the newer, cheaper Spirit Airlines: “We just saved you a nickel. Stop complaining.”

…and then it all went terribly wrong

The Fail Bird has been in hibernation (Do birds hibernate? Checking… Google is our friend: Yes.) Life and stuff happens. Had to wake him/her/it up, because this is just priceless.

Seems a little Vietnamese restaurant in Los Angeles got fed up with something that is an everyday occurrence in restaurants everywhere: people making reservations and not showing up. Instead of just giving that empty table to walk-in guests, as every busy restaurant with happy customers would do, they decided that internet shaming on Twitter would teach a valuable lesson to all those inconsiderate people who actually have a life outside of eating dinner.  An added bonus to this strategy is the side benefit of never having those people spend money with them ever again.

Red Medicine

Below that post was a couple of tweets that named names. And, of course, they got tremendous support, reservation no-shows stopped immediately, and life was beautiful.

Okay, not that. The other thing.

Red Medicine criticism

And the love continued. Not sure if @hurricane13 plans to call those reservations in, or book them online.

Red Medicine flame

The power of suggestion by @AMSTS worked, because then there was this:

Red Medicine accident

And, of course, the table turns:

Red Medicine revenge

Truth: If you make a reservation and don’t show, you’re a jerk. They’re extending the courtesy of holding a table for you, so the least you can do is let them know if your plans change. It’s called common courtesy, which seems to be increasingly uncommon these days. HOWEVER, we’ve been the lucky beneficiary of a no-show before, and will happily take your table if you’re too inconsiderate to take 15 seconds to cancel your reservation.

For the record, we’ve never had to wait for a table for more than 5 minutes past our reservation time, because the places we frequent know how to handle reservations, no-shows, and walk-in customers. Based on the response that @redmedicinela received, we’re guessing they won’t have to figure that out any time soon.

The Sound of Millions of Chins Hitting the Floor

Millions of viewers were left with their mouths hanging open at the end of the Green Bay Packers – Seattle Seahawks football game tonight. At the end of the final play, with 0 seconds on the clock, the replacement refs made a call that left everyone in shock. (This kind of crap writing shows why we’re sports watchers, and not sports writers.)

We could tell you all about the play, who had their hands on the ball, and the ruling on the field, but if you watch NFL football, or know someone who does, you already know. Instead, we’ll show you how this played out on Twitter.

Tiahna Hutchison
Brian Morgan
Mark Yoder
Eli Langer
Rachel Nichols
Justin Snyder
Brian Tannebaum
Ain’t that the truth.

In addition to mass quantities of beer, we recommend soothing the pain of watching all the bad calls made by amateur refs this season with a little bit of NFL Replacement Ref.  Just as official as the ones on the field:
NFL Replacement Ref

You did not submit a valid comment

The website StatusPeople.com is another one of the many many many many many social media management programs on the market. They let you do such social things as auto-posting rss feeds and schedule all your social media messages ahead of time, so you don’t have to interact with anyone, ever. Like sending a mp3 player as your proxy to the next party, so you don’t have to mingle with the little people.

Why are we even mentioning this at all?

Because we tried, unsuccessfully, to post a comment to their blog. In a post titled, “Are you a Twitter Faker?” they said “The number of people buying fake followers on Twitter to look more legitmate is a growing problem.” (sic)

We typed up a nice comment, decrypted the captcha, clicked the submit button, and their blog said, “You did not submit a valid comment.” How the H-E-double hockey sticks does their blog know whether our comment is valid or not? Pretty judgmental piece of software, if you ask us.

Here’s what we said:

People have been buying followers as far back as 2009. Maybe even before that. This problem started as soon as businesses joined twitter. Many “social media gurus” who have been on twitter since the beginning have a high number a followers because they used automated tools to gain them very quickly. Some promised to follow everyone who followed them, using the hashtag #teamfollowback, while others simply created thousands of accounts and followed themselves. Others used Twitter Trains, Twitter Pyramids, and other such schemes. You’d be surprised, if you look into their twitter history, to find out how many of these movers and shakers bought followers in one fashion or another.

Once people realize (will they ever?) that it’s not the number of followers, but the amount of interaction you share with your “tweeps” that makes for a successful twitter account, these twitter follower buying services will dry up and go away.

Yeah, right. It will never happen.

They have an app on their website you can use to see how many fake followers you have. NEWS FLASH: Everyone has fake followers. We’re guessing that legitimate accounts that are active on twitter probably have a higher percentage of fake followers than the less active accounts. This is because bots follow a lot of people, just to gain the automatic follow-back. If you use their tool and find that you have 10%, 20% or more fake followers, you can freak out, or recognize that it’s just the nature of the beast. Stop focusing on the numbers and start interacting with the people who have signed on to listen to what you have to say.

There you go. Was this a valid comment? Let us know what you think by leaving a valid comment in the comments.

Some people understand social media. We're here to poke fun at the ones who don't If you see a post that fails, please send a screenshot and URL of the offender to tweetfail@gmail.com

We are not associated with twitter in any way. If you don't like something you see on this blog, it's not their fault.



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Jackass Letters